S3E25 - "That's Mine!" Understanding Possessive Behavior in Kids

Episode summary

In this episode, I answer a question from Melissa about children who are possessive of their things and struggle with sharing. I explain why phrases like "that's mine" are often tied to power and control, and why this behavior is also developmentally appropriate, especially for younger children. Kids only have control over a few areas of their lives, so when they feel powerless, they grab control wherever they can — including toys and people. Understanding this helps parents respond without frustration or shame.

I walk through how to use reflection of feeling, choice giving, and clear limits to support sharing in a child-centered way. Instead of forcing compliance, these tools return a sense of control to the child while still teaching turn-taking, empathy, and waiting. This episode helps parents see possessiveness not as a character flaw, but as a normal developmental response that can be guided calmly and effectively.