S3E25 – “That’s Mine!” Understanding Possessive Behavior in Kids

Jan 7, 2026

In this episode, I answer a question from Melissa about children who are possessive of their things and struggle with sharing. I explain why phrases like “that’s mine” are often tied to power and control, and why this behavior is also developmentally appropriate, especially for younger children. Kids only have control over a few areas of their lives, so when they feel powerless, they grab control wherever they can — including toys and people. Understanding this helps parents respond without frustration or shame.

I walk through how to use reflection of feeling, choice giving, and clear limits to support sharing in a child-centered way. Instead of forcing compliance, these tools return a sense of control to the child while still teaching turn-taking, empathy, and waiting. This episode helps parents see possessiveness not as a character flaw, but as a normal developmental response that can be guided calmly and effectively.

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Common Play Therapy References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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