S3E13 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Why Kids Fight for Control (and What to Do About It)

Episode summary

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest underlying causes of difficult behavior — a child's need for control. When kids feel like they have very little say in their world, they look for places where they can take control, and those power struggles often show up in everyday routines.

I explain the five main areas where children naturally assert control — toileting, sleeping, eating, talking, and obedience — and why those struggles are less about defiance and more about a child's search for autonomy. Once parents recognize that behavior often stems from a need for control, it changes the way they respond. Giving kids small, healthy choices helps restore balance, reduce power struggles, and strengthen the parent-child relationship.