S3E28 – Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Externalizing Behaviors (When Big Feelings Come Out as Big Behavior)

Feb 6, 2026

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain externalizing behaviors — what they are, why they happen, and how child-centered play therapy helps. Externalizing kids show their distress outwardly through behaviors like yelling, hitting, throwing, running, or melting down. These children are big feelers with intense internal experiences, and their behavior is their way of showing how overwhelmed they feel. They aren’t trying to manipulate or get attention — they’re trying to get relief from feelings they don’t know how to manage yet.

I walk through what happens in the playroom for externalizing children and why CCPT works. Through reflective responding, clear limits when needed, and lots of choice, children slowly develop emotional vocabulary, regulation, and a sense of control. Over time, the extreme highs and lows begin to level out, and children learn to express feelings with words instead of behavior. This episode helps parents understand what externalizing behavior really means and why play therapy supports lasting change.

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Common Play Therapy References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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