S4E19 - Is My Child Misbehaving—or Just Trying to Be Heard?

Episode summary

In this episode, I share an experience from a recent flight that reminded me how easy it is for parents to focus on a child's behavior while missing what the child is actually trying to communicate. I watched a young child become increasingly upset as his attempts to communicate were repeatedly ignored until his behavior escalated. It was a powerful reminder that whining, crying, and tantrums are often not the real problem—they can be the result of a child feeling unheard, misunderstood, or powerless.

I talk about how simple child-centered parenting skills like acknowledging what a child is saying, reflecting their feelings, setting a calm limit, and offering an appropriate choice can completely change these interactions. We can't always give our children what they want, but we can make sure they know their thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter. Sometimes the moments when we are most frustrated with our children are exactly the moments when they most need us to come down to their level and meet them where they are.