S3E23 – How to Respond When Children Are Put in the Middle of a Divorce and Conflicting Messages

Dec 30, 2025

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom navigating a difficult co-parenting situation during divorce. Her young children are repeating things they’ve been told at the other parent’s house — including statements that aren’t true and comments that put them in the middle of adult conflict. I explain why shielding children from divorce details is not only appropriate, but essential for their emotional safety, and why kids should never feel responsible for adult problems.

I walk through child-centered ways to respond when children repeat things they shouldn’t know or accuse a parent of lying. I explain how to reflect feelings when emotions are present, how to respond neutrally when they’re not, how to return responsibility back to adults, and how calm, consistent truth builds trust over time. This episode helps parents protect the parent-child relationship, support their child’s emotional safety, and stay grounded when kids are caught between conflicting messages.

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Common Play Therapy References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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