S3E21 – Helping Kids Speak Up in Co-Parenting Situations

Dec 19, 2025

In this episode, I answer a question from Deborah about co-parenting, shared custody, and how to support a 12-year-old who doesn’t want to go back and forth between homes. I explain why, even at this age, kids are still not comfortable using words to handle emotionally charged situations, especially when feelings are involved. Expecting a child to clearly and calmly advocate for themselves in a tense relational situation often reflects adulthood bias, not developmental reality.

I walk through why it still matters for the child’s voice to be heard, but how parents can support that in developmentally appropriate ways. Instead of forcing a single approach, I explain how offering choices around how a child communicates gives them ownership, buy-in, and a sense of control. I also talk about why adults often focus too much on a child’s words instead of the message underneath, and how shifting that focus can change the outcome of difficult conversations.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected]
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Common Play Therapy References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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