S3E3 – Parent Companion for Play Therapy: How Child-Centered Play Therapy Works

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain how child-centered play therapy (CCPT) actually works — and why it’s different from directive play therapy. Parents often assume all play therapy looks the same, but there are big differences. In directive approaches, the therapist sets the agenda and teaches lessons. In CCPT, the child leads the process, and the therapist follows with support, acceptance, and structure.

This difference matters because when children own the process, they feel safe, confident, and invested. They work through struggles in their own way, at their own pace, which leads to lasting growth in self-esteem, regulation, problem-solving, and resilience. It may look simple from the outside, but CCPT creates deep, lifelong change because it gives children the freedom and safety to tell their own story.

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How Child-Centered Play Therapy Works

In our Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, we’ve already looked at why child-centered play therapy (CCPT) works. Now it’s time to explore how it works — and specifically, how it’s different from directive play therapy. Parents often hear the phrase “play therapy” and assume it’s just one thing, but in reality there are very different approaches. Understanding these differences is key to understanding how CCPT helps children grow.

Directive Play Therapy: Therapist-Led

In directive play therapy, the therapist comes into the session with an agenda. Activities, crafts, worksheets, or games are planned ahead of time. The therapist directs the conversation — for example:

• “Draw how you’re feeling.”
• “Play out your family.”
• “Let’s do this activity about the anger monster.”

The focus is on goals, lessons, and skills that the therapist is teaching the child. From the outside, this looks structured, active, and even parent-friendly. Parents often like seeing their child “doing something” in session because it feels productive.

Child-Centered Play Therapy: Child-Led

CCPT looks very different. In a child-centered session, the child chooses what to do. The toys and materials are intentionally selected, the environment is prepared, and the relationship with the therapist is in place — but the child leads.

The therapist follows the child’s lead, responding to their choices, feelings, and behaviors. There is no pre-set lesson, no imposed outcome, and no hidden agenda. From the outside, it can look simple: “He just played with dinosaurs,” or “She just painted for an hour.” But beneath the surface, deep therapeutic change is taking place.

The Key Difference: Who Leads the Process

The real difference between directive therapy and CCPT is who leads the process. In directive approaches, the therapist leads. In CCPT, the child leads.

Why does this matter?

• When children lead, they own the process.
• They accept responsibility, feel invested, and set the pace.
• They build confidence by discovering they are capable and competent.
• They work through struggles in their own way and on their own timetable.

This creates safety and trust. Children don’t feel pressure to perform, comply, or please others. Instead, they feel fully accepted, which allows real healing to happen.

Healing Comes from Processing, Not Instruction

Think about your own struggles with anxiety, anger, grief, or loss. True healing didn’t come because someone told you what to do. Healing came when you processed your feelings, wrestled with them, and worked through them at your own pace.

It’s the same for kids. They can’t be rushed or told what to do in order to heal. Processing takes time, and CCPT gives them the space and safety to do it. Directive approaches may give short-term fixes — like an activity about the “anger monster” — but those don’t help when emotions take over in real-life moments.

Long-Term Growth Through CCPT

Because CCPT is child-led, it builds long-term growth, not short-term behavior changes. Children develop:

• Self-esteem
• Emotional regulation
• Emotional vocabulary
• Problem-solving skills
• Resilience
• Empathy

These are skills that last a lifetime. Directive therapy might look impressive from the outside, but CCPT’s strength is that it taps into the child’s own choices and readiness. That’s what creates deep, lasting change.

Final Thoughts

Directive play therapy is like giving a child a script to read. Child-centered play therapy gives them the stage, the freedom, and the safety to tell their own story. That’s when real growth happens — growth that lasts into adulthood and shapes who they become.

This is why I and so many therapists are passionate about CCPT. It may look simple, but beneath the surface it is incredibly deep, difficult, and powerful. And it creates the kind of lifelong growth every parent wants for their child.