S2E46 – How to Set Limits When the Behavior Comes Out of Nowhere

Jul 18, 2025

In this episode, I answer a question from Kendall about how to set limits when you can’t predict a behavior in advance—like when a child suddenly lashes out at a sibling “for no reason.” I walk through how to balance proactive expectations with in-the-moment limit setting using the ACT model (Acknowledge, Communicate the limit, Target alternatives).

I also explain how to shift the language from parent-imposed consequences to child-led choices, so children learn that their actions have natural outcomes. Finally, I share why emotional vocabulary is essential for building regulation and why children often act before they think—reminding parents that developmentally, they’re not wired for reasoned decision-making yet. This episode is a practical guide for handling those surprising parenting moments while staying calm and connected.

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Common Play Therapy References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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